My dear readers and followers of this blog, I have come to a painful conclusion and decided to stop writing for this blog. I will keep the blog open for the public and run the facebook website of this blog as a place to inspire and motivate others. I may share some of my old posts from this blog once in a while on the facebook website. You can find the link to the facebook website by clicking here: Lost and Found, A Continuous Journey
So this journey has ended here. A part of me feels saddened by this decision, but I think it is the right decision. It’s just the right time to do it considering everything that has been happening in my life lately. I am thinking about starting another journey somewhere else at another blog, but that part is still being planned. The new blog, if I finally have it running, will remain completely 100% anonymous, hidden, and no more identity. I need a place where I can pour my heart out without worrying about hurting others’ feelings because of my chosen words.
Pardon me, but I’d like to give some parting words, so I beg you not to yawn while reading the following:
Don’t let life beat you up too much. Don’t fall down too often the way I did. Forgive the past. Forgive the ones who hurt you. Forgive yourself. Be creative, be yourself, believe in yourself, believe that you are worth it and special. Have the courage to face the truth, because the truth will release you from your burden. Believe in God, believe in His work, give in to Him.
As for me, I just hope that I, myself, will always remember everything I have said above.
This is an ending not just for this blog’s journey, but for many other things in my life right now. With an ending of one journey, a closing of one door, there’s always a new journey starting, a new door opening. What is my new journey, I don’t know, but a part of me feels a little bit (just a tiny bit!) excited as well. Is that a sign of hope? Maybe. Am I hopeful for a new opportunity? Or a possibility of a missed opportunity from the past? Perhaps. As much as I believe wholly and strongly in God’s work, I also believe that we humans cannot solely rely on prayers, but that we still have the responsibility to make things happen, to have the courage to take action, to do something, to face our problems, to bring the truth to the surface.
Before I leave, I have one confession to the world, and then I can truly leave this behind without thinking that I miss out on an opportunity to say something. I hold one thing for sure in my heart: a true love for a special person. I have been holding this in for quite some time and it leaves me feeling guilty for also quite some time. Why guilty? It’s complicated. No matter what will happen in my future journeys, that one feeling will remain the same. I dare to call it true love because it is different this time. I don’t think I will ever love another person the same way again, nor have I ever loved someone that way before. I truly believe that God gives each of us just one opportunity in life to meet a person that we can have a true love, the one that can change us from just his mere presence in our life, and I’m very blessed to have the opportunity to feel this love even though it did not blossom the way I would have hoped for. It’s a beautiful feeling, but it’s also so intense that it has a dark side. It’s the one that you can go back to over and over again regardless of how many times you’ve fallen down and gotten hurt because of the same person. It can lead a person to a deep and dark hole on one day, but to a rainbow on another day. It’s maddening. But a person can’t remain like that forever. There will be time when you just have to stop hurting yourself. What I can only do in my capacity is to leave a special place in my heart for that true love, and that space will remain untouchable and uninterrupted forever, ’til it’s my time to leave this world. But I will not do more than that. A major change has to happen before I can step back onto that path again. It has been an exhausted journey, yet one that I am feeling thankful and blessed for the opportunity from God to get to know him. I wish him nothing other than all the best and wonderful things in his life. I realize that we’re all humans and we can only do so much within our capacities in our lives. I don’t ever want to change anyone nor force a person to make a decision that may end up only as a regret in the future. Life, as I learned, seems to always has its own way of rolling. It rolls when it wants, it goes to a direction without us realizing or wanting sometimes. So I’m letting life do its own part here and I will play along, doing my own part.
I wish all of you the best in your own journeys. Never give up on love. Find happiness and peace from inside you (apparently I still have some leftover parting words). Continue to write. Never let the fire of creativity and imagination go out.
Goodbye. Adios. Ciao. Sayonara. Adieu. Selamat tinggal.