A Ghost and a Distant Past


i just saw
a face from the past
staring at me from behind a photo album
i recognize that face
i sure do
what i don’t recognize
is the one staring at me now
from behind the mirror in front of me
mirror, mirror on the wall
can you please tell me
who is this face staring at me now?
can a year make this much of a difference
really?
i’m seeing a ghost
haunted by the face from behind the photo album

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About a year ago (well, not quite, more like close to 11 months ago), I attended a high school reunion. A wonderful moment, leaving a very special and warm place in my heart forever. Anyway, I just recently saw a bunch of pictures from that reunion uploaded onto Facebook. There’s a piece of my heart that cringed inside when I saw my face in some of those pictures. My heart sank, and it resulted in this poem. I really don’t know what feelings are grounding inside me right now. Is it sad, happy, missing, loss, or grieving, but grieving for what I don’t know. I know I have changed a lot since that reunion time. I’ve felt bitterness, a great deal of loss from losing a high school friend from cancer, broken heart, and a true meaning of living alone, by myself. I’ve truly felt the harshness of life, but I also know that mine is nothing compared to what many are going through so I don’t dare to complain. The good news is that I’ve also discovered my faith and new friendship, but it doesn’t reduce the hardship of life I’m facing on my own. All I know now is that the girl in that photo album from the reunion is no longer the same person now. The face in those photos almost appears…how should I say this, distant? It was from a past that feels like ages ago.

Believing


It works just like faith

Believing in the unseen

Unknown, yet still felt

Trust the process

Have comfort in the uncertainty

See the invisible hands that

Guided the path in the dark

Destiny always prevails

Seductively leading the way

It’s hard to go against it

Its path already declared

To discover it is our task