A Ghost and a Distant Past


i just saw
a face from the past
staring at me from behind a photo album
i recognize that face
i sure do
what i don’t recognize
is the one staring at me now
from behind the mirror in front of me
mirror, mirror on the wall
can you please tell me
who is this face staring at me now?
can a year make this much of a difference
really?
i’m seeing a ghost
haunted by the face from behind the photo album

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About a year ago (well, not quite, more like close to 11 months ago), I attended a high school reunion. A wonderful moment, leaving a very special and warm place in my heart forever. Anyway, I just recently saw a bunch of pictures from that reunion uploaded onto Facebook. There’s a piece of my heart that cringed inside when I saw my face in some of those pictures. My heart sank, and it resulted in this poem. I really don’t know what feelings are grounding inside me right now. Is it sad, happy, missing, loss, or grieving, but grieving for what I don’t know. I know I have changed a lot since that reunion time. I’ve felt bitterness, a great deal of loss from losing a high school friend from cancer, broken heart, and a true meaning of living alone, by myself. I’ve truly felt the harshness of life, but I also know that mine is nothing compared to what many are going through so I don’t dare to complain. The good news is that I’ve also discovered my faith and new friendship, but it doesn’t reduce the hardship of life I’m facing on my own. All I know now is that the girl in that photo album from the reunion is no longer the same person now. The face in those photos almost appears…how should I say this, distant? It was from a past that feels like ages ago.

Advertisements

A Silent Birthday Prayer


Dear Lord,
please keep my friend safe
during those many nights
lying there alone in a cold room
with only the beating of machines
as her lullaby
keep her company
hold her hand
let her feel Your presence
so she knows
she is not alone

today is her special day
i’m thankful You allow her to
come this far
may she be able to breathe again
on her own and on
this special day
so she can remember
the gift You gave her
many years ago
the gift of life

i know You will take her,
eventually
i know the day will come
but for one day
for this one special day
let us have her with us
let us rejoice on Your gift to us
a gift of a friend, a sister,
a daughter, a granddaughter, a niece
let us celebrate her life
let us not waste on a gift this precious

i believe in Your work, my Lord
i believe in Your path
i believe in Your plan for us and
for her,
and i trust
that You will give her the best
and that one day
You will set her free
that one day
You will give her peace

i pray You give her the best
seeing her like that today was
beyond painful
but forgive me for saying that
because i know
You have a plan for all of us
and that it is beautiful
we just can’t always see
the beauty in Your plan

thank You for bringing her into my life
thank You for allowing me to see her again
thank You for letting me to talk to her
i know she listened
i know she understood
to see her smiling ever so faintly
that was a miracle, my Lord
that was Your work
and thank You for helping me
to not fall apart in front of her

Happy Birthday, my dear friend, my sister, my role model, my pillar of strength. Your spirit shines even from underneath those machines and tubes.

A Sleeping Jewel (Haiku)


laying side by side
a jewel in your mother’s eyes
while you steal a yawn

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a shower of gems
come pouring down from heaven
bless the sleeping one

I must say, a baby yawning is the cutest and funniest thing to watch 🙂 Just saw a picture of my friend’s baby earlier yawning away in her mommy’s arms and it made me smile.

Submitted to Haiku Heights, Prompt: Gem

Welcome, A Miracle One


what’s that?
ugh…bright light, bright light
i don’t like this
and…brrr
why is it so cold?
listen, all you cruels!
i never said i want this
put me back!
put me back
inside my home
where i was comfortable
but oh
what’s that?
i know that voice,
i know that voice!
come, come closer
let me hear you again
yes, you are the voice
you sang to me before
so sweet and gentle
say something again
i need to hear it now
put me to sleep, please
it’s been a long day
i’m tired

Congratulations to my friend and her husband for the arrival of their first born. Welcome to this world, baby Zoe. Here’s a haiku dedicated to you, little one. May you continue to bring miracle and happiness to your family.

oh you sweet angel
go to sleep dear miracle
a view so lasting

@>——  ❤ ❤ ❤

Submitted to Theme Thursday, Prompt: View

Haiku on Page


life and death, never before i thought that i would be facing you both together, at the same time.

two close friends, as close to sisters as can be to me. one facing death, the other preparing to embrace a new life. one is dreadful and somber, the other eager and excited. what can be more polar opposite than those? and  i’m in the middle, watching them both, from far away.

i’m trying to feel what they’re feeling, but in the dark. i wish they’re within my touch, or that i can do something more than this…waiting, praying, hoping for the best for both. sometimes the helplessness is just too gripping. can’t say i know exactly what they’re feeling. i was never in their position. don’t know what it feels like fighting an illness so deadly, or expecting a little one. whatever it is they’re feeling, i pray that one of those feelings is peaceful.

both haiku pieces below are for each sister. be well, be strong, be faithful, my dearests. you are not alone.



-̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶ -̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶ -̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶ -̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶

your body’s changing
the chapter refuse to end
dark pages ahead

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a new role ahead
excitement’s holding your hand
as you turn the page

-̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶ -̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶ -̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶ -̶̶•-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸•̸Ϟ•̸-̶̶•-̶

Submitted to Haiku Heights, Prompt # 101: Page

I Light This Candle…


i know you are scared
who wouldn’t be
this life path set for you
you take it so damn well
chin up, never down
despite the beast
that’s eating you alive

you dance your way through
the hospital maze so gracefully
your smile lift up the spirit
of those following you
you are the leader, after all
and we….
we’re just following you

your existence inspires us
your spirit guides us
your fight moves us
pushes us
but we might have allowed denial
to lead us naively
for long enough

truthfully, the hardest part
is to accept the painful truth
that it is back
and it is likely to be
the one that will take you away from us
forever

i know the fight is still in you
i can see that flicker of light in your eyes
but i can also see
that the light is getting weaker

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I ask from all of you, my dear readers, to leave a room in your prayers for a friend of mine who is not doing well, who is fighting for her dear life. I dedicated the haiku below for her.

i light this candle
for a soul so brave and strong
steady in a storm

Friday’s Fave Five # 6


As usual, I’m late with my FFF, so going directly to my faves, here they are:

1. A close friend from high school had a birthday get-together on Saturday last week. It was nice to be out and doing something on a Saturday night. It’s been a while, and so I made sure I had a good time.

2. The next day, at the church mass on Sunday, I was so lucky to choose a mass that happened to have a children’s choir. My church often receives visitor choir groups from nearby schools. On that morning, the children’s choir was such a delight to listen. The children seem to range from ages 7 to 12 of both genders. I noticed two of the boys were still so young and little, likely to be the youngest ones in the group, that they had to stand on a small chair in order to reach the microphone. The choir’s voice was so pure, innocent, fresh, and beautiful. On two songs, they were singing and moving together a little bit following the song’s rhythm and lyrics. Those kids were just adorable. People were clapping afterwards that it reminded me of the scene from Whoopi Goldberg’s Sister Act. Actually, it was a mix of Sister Act and Sound of Music. Just…mind blowing. My eyes filled with tears a few times from being touched by the beautiful music. I was so lucky to experience it and be part of the beautiful moment. Loved it!

3. On Monday, I got to hang out after work with my new coworkers. My first time hanging out with them. We went to see a movie and ate dinner afterwards. The only movie that was decent enough to watch, unfortunately, was Breaking Dawn. I’m not a big fan of the Twilight Saga, but the movie was surprisingly entertaining. Anyway, I got to see my new coworkers in a different light. I had a good time! My feet, however, gave up at the end of the day. I had blisters from wearing these professional looking shoes all day. I sure miss my sandals.

4. On Thursday, I attended a graduation celebration for the newly graduates from my department, the psychology department. These were students that were about to graduate with their Bachelor degree in psychology the next morning. The tradition is that either on the eve or a few days before graduation, all the to-be graduates receive some kind of farewell ceremony within their department, a small version of graduation ceremony. It was a wonderful celebration, and I got to meet more new faces (yippee!…*grunting*). All of those faces that I met introduced their names to me, and almost none of those names I still remember. I know, this is bad. They should have probably served alcohol with the meal too, and maybe, maybe then I will remember. 😉

5. This fifth one may sound strange and rude to some, but it’s not my intention to be rude. The story goes like this: I heard a sad news on Friday about a death in the family of someone I went to the same high school together. I never talked to her then and honestly, I didn’t know her then and now, but I know of her, I know who she is. She receives two unfortunate deaths in her family within a period of less than a month, two close and important people in her life. When I heard about it on Friday, my heart just felt so bad for her. I mean the trial time that she’s in now is so heavy and big. You may wonder why I picked this as one of my faves and this is the part that may sound rude or bad to some people, but I’m hoping it’s not. It’s because I see an incident like what happens to my friend as a reminder for me of what I have, of the precious people that are close to my heart, and I am thankful for them and for what I have. I try to remember to be thankful in my prayer every day. And for those people who I can’t express directly how much I am thankful for their roles in my life, I pray for their well-being and I thank them in my prayer for entering my life.

These are my FFF. I had a wonderful week this past one. I hope I’m blessed enough to have more to come.

*******************************************************

Please click at the FFF Christmas image above to see more FFF entries by other bloggers. Thank you for visiting and reading. I wish you all a wonderful week as well.