I Had a Dream, and I Still Do


By: Priscilla Ahn

I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I’m supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I’m old and feeling grey. I don’t know what’s left to say about this life I’m willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there’s many tales I’ve lived to tell. I’m ready now, I’m ready now, I’m ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream

** I’d like to close this piece with another amazing video of Priscilla Ahn, my other favorite video of hers. I just discovered her today and was blown away by her voice and music. Hope you enjoy the two songs too as much as I do. **

“Dreams are like stars…you may never touch them, but if you follow them they will lead you to your destiny.”  ~Author unknown.

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”  ~William Jennings Bryan.



here i am again
sitting on the same bench
in my favorite park
focusing on my thoughts
accompanied by a pen, a notebook, and an ipod,
surrounded by the sound of children playing
their energy and the smell of autumn are in the air

the sky is gray today
the air is warmer than usual
a draft hitting my naked arms
and it feels good
there’s a sound of ambulance passing by
wailing loudly
piercing my ears
breaking the stillness in the air
and bringing me back to the present
albeit temporarily
but enough to make me realize that Home is playing on my ipod

for the first time in this long journey
i feel good
i feel like I know the next step
but i didn’t get here through an easy route
the road ahead still looks foggy
but at least i know which way to go

every life deserves a pause
ever life needs a time to reflect
i realize and accept it now,
however, every pause will have to come to an end too
so who decides when to end the pause?
i do,
for my own only, of course

the winding, foggy and empty road is coming to an end
i can feel it
i know because i’m nearing a civilization
there’s a town ahead
i see lights
wait, they’re not just any light
those are lanterns
with a candle inside
oh, they’re beautiful
and i suddenly notice
that the song in my ipod has changed
Shine is playing

I realize then
life is beautiful
so what am i afraid of?



I wrote this piece the day before, after discovering more new things about myself, too painful and private to share here. Instead of going home, I sat in the park and this piece just came out. You can call it a poem, or something else, I don’t care. It is what it is. The two musical pieces I mentioned are Michael Buble’s Home and Black Gold’s Shine. I attached their musical pieces here, courtesy of Youtube. The term “attraversiamo” is a tribute to Elizabeth Gilbert and her Eat, Pray, Love. It’s an Italian word, roughly means “let’s cross over.” To me it symbolizes taking a chance in making a change when facing something difficult. It means to go through the pain in order to get to the other side. Attraversiamo.

The piece above is an expression, a product of my long reflection. I hope those who are also going through a hard time will see their own lanterns too some day.

A Strange Encounter

Perkedel Jagung.

Image via Wikipedia

Spring weather is here.

It was warmer than usual on my way home today from work. I was driving when I decided to roll down the window a bit to let the fresh air in. Suddenly I smelled a whiff of a nice smell, food. Figure, I was hungry. But this is not just a smell of any food, it is a familiar smell. I honestly don’t know what type of food it was because I was driving pass small-size restaurants on the side of the street, so it was almost impossible to know from which restaurant the smell was coming from. It was familiar because within that moment, those few (miserable) seconds, I was brought back in time and thousands of kilometers away into my past, into my hometown, and into my HOME. I realized then that it was the smell of….perkedel.  

What? Perkedel? Does any one even know what perkedel is? Please tell me that I’m not crazy?

Yes, it was the smell of perkedel that I smelled. With all of these famous Indonesian food and dishes, why in the world would I (consciously or unconsciously) choose to remember perkedel? Was my mind playing trick on me, I asked. No, it was the exact smell of perkedel that I smelled.

See, my mom used to make perkedel often back then. On average, I would say there was at least one time a week when we had perkedel as part of our meal. It was actually easy to make, I don’t know why I haven’t tried to make it even once ever since I came to the U.S. The funny thing is, it was not like I miss eating perkedel either. Ha ha ha… This is just too funny. Trust me, I have long time ago made a long list of Indonesian dishes that I will HAVE TO eat the next time I travel home, and surprise surprise, perkedel is not on the list.

So why perkedel? Oh well, I think I will need to seek therapy in order to get the answer to this, because it is a subconscious way of my mind to tell me perhaps that I’m HOMESICK. Helloou?