Moonlight in the Dark

creature of darkness
when the shadow
finally leaves your side
don’t cry alone
let the silence keep you company
let the water be your witness
let the wind carry your anguish
out into the infinite night
the stars will catch it
and guide it to the moon
tell the moon your secret
for it knows no boundaries
it knows no ending
it knows only possibilities
let the moon carry your sorrow
behind that yellow glow
lays many dying hopes
lost souls
whenever you miss sorrow
stare far into the distance
amidst the veil of darkness
find that faceless glow


A Humble Acknowledgment of Life II

LIFE is sweet
if we can only see that we have choices
and the freedom to make our choices
because only then can we actually say that
we can endure the consequences with our free will.

LIFE is sweet
if we know that we are loved
and can feel love,
if we find a place to belong
where we can feel unquestionably accepted.

PEOPLE are angels,
angels with faults and broken wings,
but love them anyway
for let’s not forget
that they are still human beings.

PEOPLE are precious,
reach out to them
and hope they will take your hand
because they have the capacity
to hold hand.

i learned that i am …
thirsty of love and connection,
capable to love, give, and receive,
needed by people who love me,
not alone,
in love,
in search of God,
in search of meanings of life,
in search of my purpose in this life,
making a change,
screaming for help,
giving help,
in search of peace,
making mistakes,
getting up,

A Humble Acknowledgment of Life I

my dear sorrow,
i was puzzled by you
couldn’t seem to untangle you
you came by several times
so near that i could see your breath
so close that i fought hard
the temptation to succumb to your poison
but then you left
only to come back again and again whenever you liked
and every time you did
i have always let you in

over and over i fell
as if i never learned a lesson
why is that, i wondered out loud
what kind of human being allowed herself to fall again and again
as if walking constantly in the dark
succumbing to the same temptation repeatedly
wishing every time for a new result
discovering that old bruises were never gone
and yet new bruises are starting to show up uninvitedly,
spreading like cancer cells in this frail body

i was fortunate that my God was there
who told me when I had hit my bottom
i knew then
it was time to go up again
despite of the fear and uncertainty
there is a time when the word “enough” can taste so bitter
that it may jolt every single cell of your body
when it hit your tongue

God is my witness when i say you are sweet, my dear sorrow,
because you offer comfort
a blanket of security, of safety, of seclusion,
but you are also deceptively bitter,
you are patient and loyal in your work,
but you are also dark and gloomy,
you have accompanied me for so long
and now i have found you suffocating

it is time for me to tell you
that i am tired of you
i long to hear the birds singing their songs
i miss those sounds,
they are sweet too, you know,
and free!

i think i am ready to leave you behind,
but i am thankful
because i have learned a lot
from having you around for so long
through the pain, hurt and confusion
i learned many things about
life, people and myself

(see the continuation of this poem in A Humble Acknowledgment of Life – part II)

Sorrow II

i see you

i see your pain

don’t hide it

it wants to be seen

your pain is precious

it wants to be nourished

feel it

keep it

don’t fight it

only let go when you are ready

you will know when is the right time

but be sure to know

what to replace it with

after all

some pain is like addiction

some pain is just plain addicting

like the pain of feeling lost in life

like the pain of wanting to belong

like the pain of losing my ground

Sorrow I

your sorrowful eyes

pierce through my heart

it pains me to see you like this

where did the sunshine go from your face

or those laughters

they’re all gone

i know you’re going through a difficult period

but it’s called a period because

it has a beginning and an ending

this suffering, too, will pass

just like any other trial time in your past

but what about the loneliness, you ask

what to do about it, you want to know

my dear, loneliness is part of you

like you said it yourself

it’s been right there with you the whole time

since you were a child

do you really want it to go?

do you know what it’s like without it?

do you know how to live without loneliness?

what will you replace it with?

don’t answer yet

when you’re not ready

still here

“Moderate lamentation is the right of the dead: excessive grief the enemy to the living.”  ~Shakespeare, from All’s Well That Ends Well~

when the song ends
and all left is silence
when the word ends
and all left is the sound of grief
when the joy ends
and all left is emptiness
i’m still here.

a familiar place it is
been here before
a familiar feeling it is
been acquainted before
everything has an ending
but i’m still here

i’m still here
left with my sorrow only
mine alone to keep
it is okay, you know
because in the end
we always be alone.